


With Stars in His Eyes

by orphan_account



Series: YOUTUBE RPF [16]
Category: Youtube RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fireworks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Non-Chronological, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not youtubers, Requited Love, Stars, Weird Plot Shit, Weirdness, as in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-04 09:46:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11552598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Anthony is having some issues with continuity.Continuity is having some issues with Steven.But who needs consistency anyways?Any way the wind blows.





	With Stars in His Eyes

Anthony found something oddly fascinating about the vibrations spiraling from his fingertips to his arms, quaking through his bloodstream.

"Are you... are you okay, dude? Your hands are shaking pretty badly..." He blinked, remembering to actually look through his open eyes. The concerned look on Steven's face certainly wasn't helping to slow his pulse.

"Oh, uh, yeah! I'm good, just get shaky hands sometimes, y'know," he answered, brushing off his odd behavior with a laugh. The weird look Steven gave him suggested that he wasn't making a good case for himself.

"So, what were we talking about?" Pursed lips exchanged for a frown. Anthony bit the inside of his mouth.

"You were asking me a question, I believe." Steven spoke slowly.

"What... what was your answer?" Anthony's mind burned with images of fireworks and murky green eyes. His acute awareness of every breath he took pounded in his ears.

"Um, hello? _Anthonyyy?_  Anybody home?" He blinked again, mentally kicking himself.

"Sorry, c-could you repeat yourself?" A sigh.  _His_ sigh. Practically coined.

"I said  _yes,_ fuckin' christ... Are you having a stroke or something?" Face flushed. His heart rate stopped and started in rapid succession. 

"Y-Yes, definitely... definitely that. Yes. Can- Can confirm I... am having a stroke," Anthony forced, pulling off less of a flawless smirk, and more of a toothy, frazzled grin.

* * *

Anthony ground his teeth, staring at the mess of brown curls sitting next to him on the couch. Silence.

"So, I'm, um... I'm sorry for ignoring you, I guess... I wasn't really trying to, so I'm sorry?" The other shifted on the couch, turning to face him, edges of his eyes tinged red.

 _"You're a fucking asshole."_ Anthony winced.

_I guess I deserve that..._

"It just felt kind of awkward, and I didn't really know what to say, and so..."

"So you avoided the problem," Steven sneered dryly, eyes cut with multiple emotions. Anthony looked down at his hands.

"Uh. Yeah, I-... I did." His muscles tensed as he watched a war play out on his friend's face, resulting in a bitter kind of angry look.

"I'm... I am, I'm not good at dealing with problems, and I-!" Anthony didn't finish his sentence, cut off by the single hand on his far shoulder, gripping painfully tight. He supposed he should be more distracted by the lips pressed firmly against his, but his mind wasn't ready to process that yet. Not for a while.

And it was over.

Steven's hand slipped off, and he gazed at Anthony for a long time before getting up.

"Text me," he hissed, grabbing his phone and heading to their shared apartment's entrance. 

"Y-You-" He shut up at the glare shot in his direction, unfrozen only by the slam of the door.

His heart pounded out of his chest, legs feeling unreliable.

* * *

"I'm not saying that you're an idiot, I'm just saying..." Anthony glanced to his right, raising an eyebrow.

"That... I'm an idiot?" Steven snorted, shaking his head slowly.

"No, just... ugh, why did you wait so long?" Anthony let out an exasperated sigh.

"Well, I can't be expected to do  _everything_. I thought  _you_ were the man in this relationship," he huffed. Steven raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse you, we're _both_ the guys in this relationship, that's kind of the point."

"Well... You're not wrong," Anthony mused, the hand being intertwined with his spreading warmth through his chest.

* * *

"Random question, do you like fireworks?" Steven looked up from his plate, expression neutral.

"Uh, yeah, I- I guess. Why?" Anthony frowned at his fork.

"Because..." The fork provided nothing other than a glinting reflection of the light above.

"No reason."

* * *

_"Mmh, you like that?"_ Anthony nearly choked on the popcorn he was in the middle of eating, blushing furiously. He was given only a tilted head and a hand on his shoulder, green eyes flickering in the light of _Wonder Woman_ on the screen in front of them.

"Holy shit, are you alright?" Anthony nodded, coughing roughly for a few moments before settling.

"J-Just, um, wow. That was. Uh." The other blinked. Steven's mouth opened, but snapped shut as his face burned. He turned away quickly, hand lingering just a moment too long.

" _Popcorn._ I m-meant... I meant... Jesus Christ..." Anthony bit his tongue for a few minutes, stopping as he tasted iron.

* * *

"Y'know, your hands are always-" Steven made to better listen, Anthony drawing a blank at the sight of the younger's plaid shirt that was _clearly too big for him_. Steven smiled brightly, stepping out of the apartment complex's main door.

"Hello to you too, I suppose. You were saying?" Anthony focused for a few moments on the empty doorway, glaring at nothing. He cleared his throat, following his friend to the car after closing the door.

"I was saying something? I don't really remember... that. Is that my... my shirt?" Steven turned a bit red, smile holding.

"Yes, why? Personally, I think it's perfect for watching fireworks in, I dunno about you." Before Anthony could protest, the other was inviting himself into the older's car, sliding smoothly into the passenger seat.

* * *

He sank back onto his couch, biting his lip. Steven's constant smile peered into his soul, prying at the edges of the doors holding back the words trapped in his lungs. He still turned around, legs halfway hanging off the edge, bent over the arm. Short breath on the back of his neck, hands sliding under the back of his shirt-

_Fuck I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up I f-_

"Is this okay?" The question hung, stale, in the air, and Anthony could only nod, body numb as he mindlessly lifted his arms, shirt abandoned somewhere. He focused on breathing, attempting to stabilize himself, when careful fingers pressed into his back in turn, stress leaving him in waves. He bit his tongue to bleeding point, holding back noises that were  _not at all_ appropriate for the situation. The subtle breaths behind him, too close to his skin, weren't helping much, either.

"Just tell me if I accidentally hurt you, because I don't want to."

"Y-Yeah..." Steven hummed to himself, contrast to Anthony's tensing muscles.

"Okay, I'm going to need you to relax though. It won't feel as good if you're all... y'know." He almost spoke but couldn't, opting to nod again, breathlessly. Words caught in his throat.

_Please- no. ...I need- no. You're so per- no. That's too... sickly sweet. Ugh, god... I'm fucked._

* * *

"Try me, dude. I'll mess you up," Steven chuckled, the sudden weight against his side pulling his attention from Anthony's television screen, light flashing out with a movie they'd rented that he'd long since forgotten the name of.

"Hey, you awake?" No answer. He sighed, and stared at the form curled up into a ball next to him, lips just barely parted. He almost frowned, but didn't, memory coming to him opportunely. So, he planted a kiss on Anthony's forehead, the latter's only reaction the slight fluttering of his eyelids.

* * *

"I'm not like... like  _that._ " Steven raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean by 'that'?" Anthony rolled his eyes, leaning closer.

"Uh... you know... G-Gay?" Steven's expression held, though his left eye twitched for a moment.

"Well, yeah, I know."

"I mean... I guess I'm not- I... I'm straight, but like... interested? I'm not sure how to explain it."

"Oh. So you're bi-curious?"

"Is that what it's called?'

"That depends on what you are." Anthony groaned, sinking back into his chair.

"It's really up to you to figure out what you identify as, and you're the only one who can decide what you are, no one else can do that for you. But that's besides the point, this isn't what I meant when I said we should talk more during dinner...? The fireworks question was interesting, you could- you could elaborate on that?"

* * *

"So, do you- would you like to... to, um, go see fireworks with me? They're down at the park this year, and it's going to be really nice out at that time, so I think-"

"Yeah, of course!"

 _That's_ not _quite what I expected. Huh._ _My hands-..._

* * *

Steven's hands stilled, fingers curling. His face was probably the same color as Anthony's, he supposed, but less guilty. Or more. He wasn't sure.

"S-Sorry, oh my god I'm so sorry, I didn't... mean that to... sound like that- like... so suggestive?" Steven laughed, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"I mean, I'm flattered, but unless you're trying to lead me on, keep all that to a healthy minimum." Anthony didn't speak or nod, but the younger slowly resumed, silent.

* * *

"Dinner and a movie? Really?"

"I j-just wanted to know! I've heard it's good..." Steven grinned, voice free of any previous conviction.

"Listen, that's my way of saying  _yes, I will watch the Wonder Woman movie with you_." Silence. Then a soft question.

"...Can we buy popcorn?"

"I think you mean can  _you_ buy popcorn."

* * *

"You look nice," Anthony mumbled, teeth brushing against fading scars in his mouth.

"Are you- Are you nervous?" 

_Of course I'm n-_

"Nope, I'm just thinkin' about stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Well, tonight, for example."

"You- _Excuse me?_ I don't... I don't think I heard you right."

"About what we're going to do after, I mean." Steven chuckled, shaking his head.

"I should get an audio recorder and just- and just staple it to you or something. Do you even- Do you hear yourself talk?" Anthony flinched.

"What am I saying? Is there something wrong with it?" The younger laughed, glancing at Anthony before again back at the windshield.

"Nope, nothing at all."

* * *

"Is it because of...?" Anthony's teeth worried his lip, arms crossed staunchly.

"Because of what!?" Steven's muscles tensed.

"I-I don't- I don't know, but ever since last Monday you haven't so much as acknowledged my presence."

"I..."

* * *

Gravel crunched under their feet as they made their way back to the car. Steven opened his door lightly, fingers twitching at the pull handle when he felt the vibrations of the older's excitement in his fingertips.

"You could be a bit more... Maybe not open the door so violently?" Anthony near floated into the car on light feet, grinning invitingly ambiguously.

"Nah, screw that. I'm still excited, okay? I simply want to... _express my feelings,_ " he teased. Steven simply smiled over at him, blushing hands and nose betraying the cold.

"Y'know, you should wear flannel more often." The shorter snorted.

"You mean I should wear  _your shirts_ more often?" Anthony's face flushed, and he looked away, as Steven settled into the passenger's seat.

"W-Well, I mean, I guess that is what I mean, yes..." He was brought back to green eyes when a cold hand slipped into his, fingertips curling around to meet the back of his hand.

"Is this, um, is- is this okay?" Anthony nodded, his own eyes widening.

"Uh, yes. Very."

* * *

Steven looked at the screen, expression dropped, and tapped it.

"Getting us a movie?" The younger nodded, leaning back into the  _warm_ arms wrapping around him as inconspicuously as possible.

"Renting one, anyways. Donnie Darko, because how have you not seen that movie yet?" Anthony frowned, forehead lowering to lean against the back of Steven's head.

" _Hey now_ , I'm not all about scary ass bunny suits, okay? That movie came out when I was, what, eleven? Ten? You would've been seven!" Steven rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. It's not on Netflix, and we're watching it.  _If you get scared you can hold my hand_ ," he hummed as patronizingly as possible.

"Don't think I won't take you up on that offer," Anthony warned, grip on the other tightening.

"I expect nothing less from you," Steven mused.

* * *

Anthony paused, crouching to feel the grass.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Making sure your ass doesn't get wet, now sit down." Steven scoffed, but did, sitting on the slight slope of the hill.

"Now, my dad used to take me to see the fireworks, and we'd always sit somewhere higher up, so we could see them from a distance. If you were too close, it'd be to loud and you could get burned. ...That's what  _he_ said, anyways." Steven's eyes pried at Anthony's expression, wonderingly.

"I sometimes forget you didn't grow up in the city like me. I always think of New York as  _only_ NYC, but I guess there are more rural and suburban areas..."

"Mhm." 

Silence crept into the small space between them as they held their breaths, muscles tightened. After a few moments, a whistle split through the air, two pairs of eyes following the thin trail of smoke up into the sky where it poured out into the night with hundreds of independent explosions, light flashing in an array of colors too rapidly to remember. Anthony turned to examine Steven's face, the younger's mouth open just slightly in awe. He smiled to himself, heart filling with warmth.

"Have you never seen fireworks before?" Steven shut his mouth quickly, thankful for the nighttime that hid his blush.

"Um- Well- I-... Not- Not in person? No..." Anthony laughed brightly, more explosions erupting nearby.

"I'm glad you finally have!"

"Me too!" They were nearly yelling then, the sound of crackling, whirs, and the signature boom filling the area.

"Also, I wanted to ask you something!"

"What is it?"

"Do you-" Anthony was interrupted by a particularly loud series of whistling rockets cutting his ears.

"What was that?" Anthony opened his mouth to try again, but the noise lowered his hopes. Steven gave him a concerned look, and he attempted a third time, but to no avail.

"Could you tell me late-" He had instead opted to kiss the younger on the cheek, face burning. He couldn't hear the other, but the silent 'o' shape illuminated by greens, reds, and blues spoke for itself.

Hours seemed to pass before the war of expressions on Steven's face met a resolution, the younger shyly returning the gesture. Anthony let out a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding. Steven made back to the sky, despite the light of explosions having temporarily faded, but Anthony felt as if he could see the sky without looking at it. Steven's lips curled into a smile when the natural light illuminated his face, and leaned into the older with stars in his eyes.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, weird, I know. I might add chapters at some point, but summer classes and visiting relatives are keeping me busy, apologies.
> 
> I should honestly be doing my work and writing this essay but I'm out of energy. :(


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